How does your brand contribute to the news?

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I came across a story of a man in Texas who attempted to choke his girlfriend with a Wii controller after she discovered he ate all her Girl Scout cookies. Here is how it was written by the Austin Statesman.

To remain completely objective, the reporter should have written it like this:

Man accused of choking girlfriend with video game controller cord

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her boxed cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

Christina Alvarado told Austin police that she woke up her boyfriend, Daniel Alvarez, 21, Monday morning after discovering her cookies were gone, according to the affidavit.

Alvarez became upset that Alvarado woke him and began to yell at her, according to the affidavit. Alvarado told police that Alvarez got her into a choke hold that lasted several seconds before she was able to hit him in the eye to break free, according to the affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a video game controller, according to the affidavit. He put his knees on her chest to pin her down and strangled her with the cord of the controller, according to the affidavit.

Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after, according to the affidavit. Alvarado had a faint mark from a cord around her neck, shortness of breath, trouble speaking and was coughing when police arrived, the affidavit said.

Alvarez remained in the Travis County jail today with bail set at $40,000. He is facing second degree felony charges of aggravated assault with serious bodily injury, which is punishable by up to 20 years in prison.

Not as funny, is it? Why? What about the Wii and Girl Scout cookie brands make their mention in the story interesting, whereas the generic-brand description just kinda of “so-what?”

If your brand was mentioned in a story that was not very flattering to it, how would it contribute to the story? Why?